How do you manage your negative mental chatter? You know what I mean: everything from “OMG I’m getting my mother’s chin” to “They think I don’t know what I’m doing.” All of us have this tape running in the background, yet not all of us are great at ignoring it. What’s the secret then? How can we continue to shine despite our sympathetic nervous system trying to protect us?
I gave a big brand story presentation this morning to a client in Amsterdam. I had prepared – a lot – but still my hands were shaking while I spoke and the mental chatter was relentless, “This is not going well.”
But I stuck with it because I know that that’s just what happens when you’re pushing yourself up against your comfort zone. When you encounter something challenging or unfamiliar, your brain may interpret it as potentially threatening, triggering physiological responses to prepare you for action—increased heart rate, muscle tension, and heightened alertness. Here’s what makes it worse.
What I see all the time is professionals (who know their stuff inside and out by the way) making those signals mean something more. They buy into the story that they’re not good enough. They fixate on the shaking instead of finding ways to move through it. And they let that affect their confidence. Does this sound like you?
What’s true is that moments like this give you useful information because they’re showing you where you’re growing. And if find you’re not meeting them frequently enough, you may be playing too small.
When was the last time you put your hand up to speak on a stage that scared you a little?
When was the last time you shared a big idea you’re passionate about and felt butterflies in your stomach?
When was the last time you said something that needed to be said because no one else was saying it?
These are the moments when we nudge who we are now towards who we want to be.
I finished the presentation today, still shaking, but proud of the work I had presented. Did they fall over themselves to tell me how much they loved it? No, but the discussion that emerged was productive—a necessary stepping stone for the project, and a level up for me.
Will I shake next time? Probably. And that’s ok.
THE BIG PRINT: i.e. If you take one thing away from this post it’s that…
Your body’s signals of nervousness—the shaking hands, racing heart, and critical mental chatter—aren’t warning signs that you’re failing. They’re confirmation that you’re growing.
Game Day Tips for Managing Nerves and Mental Chatter
Physical Preparation:
- Get a full night’s sleep before your big moment (7 hours minimum)
- Watch your caffeine intake—too much can amplify anxiety symptoms
- Eat a balanced meal that provides steady energy without heaviness
Mental Techniques:
- Visualize yourself succeeding—see yourself commanding the room
- Reframe nervousness as excitement (“I’m excited to give this presentation.”)
- Imagine the audience rooting for you, because they usually are
Communication Strategies:
- Make eye contact with friendly faces in different parts of the room or on screen
- Speak more slowly than feels natural—nervousness speeds up speech
- Embrace imperfection—a few mistakes won’t diminish your overall impact
One Counterintuitive Tip:
- Don’t fight the shaking. Studies show acknowledging your nervousness can actually improve performance. Some of the best presenters still get nervous—they just accept it as part of the process and continue anyway.
TAKE IT FROM… Deb Fink, writer, actor, producer, and creative director at Beautiful Collaterals.
“If you’re trying to be who you’re not, that will bring the critic in.” —Deb Fink
Sometimes, feeling like we’re enough is a tall order, especially if we’re feeling under stress in a work situation. But what’s absolutely true is that if you are trying to figure out how to be someone else, it’s a million times harder. In Buddhist philosophy, comparison is considered one of the roots of suffering, as it creates attachment and desire. Not only does it cause more suffering, but it robs you of your authenticity.
“In every chapter of the presentation of your life, just be you because you are enough”, says Fink. You. Are. Enough.
I’m curious, what’s one uncomfortable situation—maybe a public speaking opportunity—you’ve been avoiding that might actually represent your next growth opportunity?
Taking that first step is often the hardest part. When you’re ready to meet those nerves with action, I’m here to help. Book a free consultation here.
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