If I asked you to name a communication habit you’re not proud of, what would you say? For me, it’s when I cut someone off when they’re taking too long to get to their point. I know it’s rude, and I’m working on it. Over the years in my work, I’ve come across a lot of bad habits in communication: fillers, using too much jargon, rambling, etc. But the ones I care most about are the ones that quietly sabotage promotions - especially for women.
I’ve watched brilliant women get passed over for promotions they deserved. They had the results. The EQ. The vision. But not the voice of a leader. McKinsey said it best:
“The #1 barrier holding women back from leadership is how they communicate—not skill or ambition.” —McKinsey, Women in the Workplace Report 2023
Your ability to communicate with clarity and confidence in the workplace can influence how others perceive your capacity to lead. As women, we often struggle to speak with the right balance of authority because our style of communication can lack assertiveness. So what are these bad habits that hold women back? There are six main ones. I’ll outline them here.
Habit 1: Lacking Integrity When Making Requests
For example, “Do you mind revising this report?” This phrasing can backfire because it’s seen as a suggestion, not a direction. It also creates confusion: do we really want to know if the person ‘minds’?
Habit 2: Lacking Clarity and Direction When Giving Instructions
For example, “Maybe you could take a look at that today?” This is a problem because hedging words like “maybe” or “sort of” create vagueness and confusion around our ask.
Habit 3: Over-Apologizing
For example, saying ‘sorry’ in these situations: when correcting someone, when coughing, when interrupting, when someone does something for you. Apologizing implies we’ve done something wrong, which disempowers us and undercuts our authority.
Habit 4: Using Mincing Modifiers
For example, “I just wanted to talk about the budget.” Mincing modifiers are words like “just,” “maybe,” and “a little bit” that weaken our message.
Habit 5: Lacking Structure
For example, rambling, repeating yourself, and not knowing when to stop talking. This makes it hard for the listener to take in what you’re saying, which undermines your credibility and effectiveness.
Habit 6: Indirectness When Giving Feedback
For example, “Maybe there was something unclear in the way I gave those instructions?” Being uncomfortable with giving feedback can lead to a lack of clarity and being overly soft with your communication.
THE BIG PRINT:
The way you communicate will either propel you forward—or quietly hold you back.
The Cost of Communication Habits
When we undermine ourselves with unclear, overly apologetic, or indirect communication, the effects ripple outward. We don’t just miss promotions or give shaky presentations—but we can cause misalignment, poor collaboration, and costly mistakes across entire organizations.
Here’s what the data shows:
📉 Project failure: Poor communication contributes to project failure one-third of the time.
— Project Management Institute
💬 Conflict & wasted time: Managers spend up to 50% of their time dealing with workplace conflicts. The #1 cause is poor communication.
— KPMG Study on Conflict Costs
🙁 Employee churn: Miscommunication is a leading factor in 46% of surveyed organizations where employees left due to poor management.
— Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM)
The good news? Communication is a skill—and skills can be learned. When women shift these habits, they are more likely to get promoted to leadership.
Ready to change the way you show up?
This July, I’m running a 6-week live intensive of Communicate with Confidence—the course that’s helped over 50 women break free from limiting language habits and master new communication skills to exude leadership confidence.
Here’s what you get:
✅ 6 Live group calls – Practice, coaching, connection
✅ Lifetime access to the full on-demand course
✅ Robust resource library – Scripts, model videos, and storytelling frameworks
✅ Global Slack community – Stay connected between sessions, ask questions, get support
✅ DM access to me – Personalized feedback and nudges
🗓 When: Wednesdays from July 23 – August 27
🕐 17:00 London | 12:00 EST | 09:00 PST
💥 Early Bird: $997 (until July 9)
💼 Regular: $1,497 – Payment plans available
Spots are limited—and this is the only live cohort I’m running this summer.
Grab your spot here.
TAKE IT FROM… Nina, a former student in the course.
Nina came to me wondering why she wasn’t getting promoted. After about two minutes of speaking, I knew why. Nina was undermining her confidence with the same habits I described above. So we worked together. I taught her to become aware of her habits and to replace them with the Language of Leadership. Then—BAM—she got promoted.
What would change for you—or for your organization—if speaking the Language of Leadership became a priority?
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