Did you know that, even without opening your mouth, your body is broadcasting information all the time? Your facial expressions as you listen, the way you hold yourself while standing in a line, even the way you dress—all of this says something about you. In fact, it may say even more than your words.
What is Nonverbal Communication
A few weeks ago I attended a training in Lisbon called Social Engineering. It was taught by two US special forces agents who had spent years in the field working in regions where, if you got communication wrong, you could go home in a body bag. The two-day course was dense with tactical strategies used in the field to extract information. The main focus was nonverbal communication.
As one instructor put it:
“Nonverbal communication is everything we use to convey meaning without words. Research has shown that as much as 80% of communication is nonverbal.”
It became clear to me why I studied costume design in university. I loved creating designs that helped characters communicate without speaking. A frayed jacket, a colorful scarf, a certain type of watch—every detail tells a story. The choices we make are broadcasting our personality, our values, and sometimes our intent.
Body Language as a Type of Nonverbal Communication
Body language and nonverbal communication are not the same. Body language is one type of nonverbal communication: the way we use our bodies to send signals. Some of it is cultural (the “OK” gesture in the U.S. means something entirely different in Italy), and some is hardwired. The course focused on the hardwired kind.
For example, if someone angles their right foot out when they first enter a room, it’s a sign they’re “taking it all in.” In other words, not enough rapport has been built yet—they need more information. Part of our training was to sit in a café and watch people for these cues. It was fascinating to see how much we broadcast without even realizing it.
But what does all this mean if you’re not special forces?
You Are an Open Book
One exercise made this crystal clear. We each got a folded slip of paper with a phrase on it. Our task: read it, then face the class with as little reaction as possible. When my turn came, I unfolded mine: “You are ugly.”
It was hopeless. My face, my gestures, my stance—everything betrayed me. Then I burst out laughing, realizing I had “broken the game.”
The point was obvious: it’s nearly impossible to hide our reactions. Our bodies speak, whether we like it or not.
Knowing this, we owe it to ourselves to consider what we’re broadcasting. You don’t need to be an elite agent to catch these cues—our gut usually tells us what’s going on with someone else. As my instructor said: “If it feels wrong, it’s wrong.”
This mismatch has a name: congruence. For example, wringing your hands during a talk is a self-soothing gesture that signals nervousness. You’re trying to project confidence, but the audience sees what’s going on inside you.
So here’s the question to take with you:
Next time you step on stage—or into a room—what is your body saying before you even speak?
THE BIG PRINT
Remember: your body speaks first.
Quick Takeaways: Reading the Signals
These insights aren’t mine—I learned them from my instructor Adam Ticknor (Pinecone Tactics) and his book Body Language is an Art. Here are three quick cues that stood out to me, and how you can spot or use them in everyday life:
1 / Plant your stance
Rocking side to side signals uncertainty. On stage, keep your feet grounded and move with purpose instead of swaying.
2 / Watch (and listen for) the throat
Throat rubbing, covering, or clearing is often a sign of irritation or agitation. If it happens right after you raise a topic or ask a question, that person’s anger is live in the moment. Time to reassess.
3 / Arms crossed ≠ always closed
Context matters. A manager may cross their arms while listening as a “you have the floor” signal—not disengagement. A photographer might tell you to cross your arms in a photoshoot. I’m not convinced this is ever a good look to demonstrate authority.
The biggest takeaway is to avoid one-cue conclusions. They say “three to get a read”. Look for clusters of signals before you decide what it means.
Your body is already speaking. Ready to make sure it’s saying what you want? Get on my calendar to learn how we can work together here.
TAKE IT FROM… Marcel Marceau French mime artist and actor. He referred to mime as the “art of silence”, performing professionally worldwide for more than 60 years.
Watch the four-minute clip above about Marcel Marceau’s life and how he used the art of nonverbal communication to tell stories—and save lives during WWII.
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