“Everyone can be more attractive.” This flat statement of truth from psychologist Dr. Orion Taraban caught my attention. I was listening to a podcast on how to succeed in today’s brutal dating world, but he could have easily been talking about business. You think your message is enough? Think again. The way you deliver that message—including what you look like—plays a big role in whether it’s received. In communication, just like in dating, attraction is attention.
Check Your Wardrobe
I started my communications career in San Francisco, arguably one of the least fashionable cities in the world. Coming from a fashion background, I toned myself down so I wouldn’t stand out. It’s taken me moving to Europe to regain my zeal for expressing myself with clothes—hello bright blue suit.
People underestimate the power of their appearance when it comes to public speaking—they think a hoodie and sneakers and they’re good to go. But research consistently shows that nonverbal communication accounts for up to 50-70% of the total impact of a message. That means the way you deliver your message—including what you look like—matters as much, if not more, than the message itself.
Meltem Demirors at the Legends4Legends conference in Amsterdam.
Feel Like a Million
“Look good. Feel good.” I remember years ago I bombed a presentation even though I had prepared for days. My friend in the audience suggested it was because of what I was wearing: black dress, black jacket, black shoes, black tights. She was right: it looked like I was going to a funeral. Why had I chosen that outfit? Was I wanting to fade into the background? Was it self-sabotage?
In Amsterdam in October of this year, I witnessed a very different wardrobe story play out at the Legends4Legends blockchain conference. Meltem Demirors took the stage and wowed the audience with her full-length cheetah print coat. With that coat she broadcast, “Look at me and listen!” And we listened. She was funny, confident, and well-spoken. I think most of the crypto bros in the audience felt intimidated.
Broadcast a Brand
The day I bought my big black glasses I made a choice to stand out. We all have that choice, and this choice is personal brand. What do you want your look to “say”? Steven Bartlett of podcast DOAC wears a black T-shirt for every episode. He’s making a conscious choice to not fuss about wardrobe. And this too communicates something: “I value efficiency and simplicity because I’m busy and I want people to focus on the content, not on me.” And this black T-shirt has become his brand, just as my black glasses have become mine.
Studies consistently show that people who appear polished and intentional are rated as more competent, confident, and trustworthy. Maybe it’s not your style to intentionally craft a “look” so that it becomes your signature. That’s fine. But when you do get the chance to speak from a stage, be sure choosing your outfit is part of your preparation. Because whether you like it or not, your wardrobe always speaks first.
THE BIG PRINT
Your clothes speak before you do, so get the message right.
How to Dress the Part
Here are some quick tips to help you use clothes as a tool to show up with confidence and creativity so they remember you long after you’ve stopped talking.
1 – Choose a Key Piece
Dare to be bold by choosing one item (I’m counting a suit as one item here) that makes a statement, for example, a cheetah print coat, a brightly colored suit, a boldly striped jacket. Yes, you will grab attention, and that’s the whole point.
2 – Don’t Forget Your Shoes
“You can tell a lot about a person by their shoes.” When you’re on a stage, be sure the audience will see your shoes. Sneakers need to be clean. Leather shoes need to shine. Make your audience feel your attention to detail.
3 – Have Fun with It
Do we have to take this so seriously? Absolutely not. The whole point of clothing is to express ourselves. So please, let’s have some fun with it!
TAKE IT FROM… Tilda Swinton, acclaimed British actress recognized for her unique aesthetic, frequently collaborating with renowned directors like (my personal fave) Wes Anderson, Jim Jarmusch, and Luca Guadagnino. She was named GQ woman of the year in 2014.
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