“Is this going to take long?” I looked up from my Zoom call. “Excuse me?” “Is your call going to be long?” “Probably not,” I said with a smile. My 11th arrondissement Paris hotel lobby was clearly set up for coworking, with long tables, power, and moody lamps scattered about, but I was the only one working there.
A few minutes after my 15 minute call ended, the woman grabbed her bag and started to walk toward the elevator. As she passed my table I said, “Sorry I disturbed you.” The look on her face was like she had just sucked a lemon. She then let out a big huff and walked away.
This woman wanted something reasonable: quiet on her Parisian holiday. She had every right to it. Why did she walk away with nothing?
Because she put a stop sign in my face instead of taking 10 seconds to say something like, “Would you be willing to take calls by the elevator?” With that question she would have won. Contempt got her lemon juice.
I went to Paris last week to teach a team the art of saying no for Lighthouse Communications, and then a stranger handed me the whole lesson.
Almost no one actually needs you to say yes. They need to not feel steamrolled. The whole art is the ten-second version that leaves the other person on your side.
What’s your “Would you be willing to…” line?
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